Wheelchair winners

Cancer is such a b***h!

A little over a week ago, I received a shocking text message announcing the death of an old friend. 

NS died of stomach cancer. She was only a few years older to me, in our 50s.

The SMS came from a pastor who knew both of us.

I met NS during my teens. I had moved from Klang to Petaling Jaya where I still reside now. 

It was several years after a botched surgery, at the age of 10, had put me permanently in a wheelchair. I never went back to school again after my paralysis.

The excuse the management gave me and my family was that they didn't have any facilities in their primary school to accommodate wheelchairs.

I guess you could say that I was pretty much under a kind of a "house arrest" from then on. I stayed within the confines of my room and home most of the time.

This was mostly because the outside environment was hostile to persons with disabilities like myself.

The only time I'd go out was in the evenings. It was to the homes of a few school-going friends I had made over time in my neighbourhood.

Evenings would ensure that they wouldn't be away in school. But I wasn't always lucky. There were many times when these able-bodied friends would have no time for me. They would be out with their other "normal" friends instead, where I couldn't join them because wheelchairs were physically – and psychologically – "not allowed".

Places like in the football field, at the movies, and especially, swimming.

Then, I met NS who lived a few doors away from me. It started with a smile, then "hello", and soon I was visiting her often.

NS and I had great fun together. She was very much my "window to what was happening in the outside world".

I'd love to hear about the daily adventures in her college, or where she went with her friends and family.    

NS was also very much into religion. She got me to join her faith, too. Because of my problems with transport and my wheelchair, she kindly offered to give me Bible lessons in her home to help me "grow in the faith".

For more than a year, I would wheel myself to her house once a week for our religious study sessions. It was held outside her house in her garden. She would make sure that we would never miss a class.

Sometimes, she would invite one or two of her friends to also join us. Much later on, she managed to organise her church friends with cars to take me to her church once a week, where she proudly introduced me to her friends and members. 

However, it was our bible sessions together which I enjoyed the most. I was thrilled that I had finally found someone nearby who was willing to give me her time and listening ear.

NS told me that she firmly believed that God would heal me one day, and that I would leave my wheelchair forever, and walk again. She said when that happened, it would inspire everyone around me.

Those were the most significant words I recall from this human angel, before she moved out from my neighbourhood.

Somehow, life just took a different turn from then on. We never saw or spoke to each other again until I heard the unexpected and terrible news about her.

I wish I could reverse time and have one last chance to meet her again. I would have liked to tell her that her vision of me did, in fact, come true. But not in the way that she or I had expected.

Cancer claimed the life of another dear friend of mine only a year ago. Like NS, PQ was one of the kindest and sweetest individuals on the planet.

Being in a public relations company, the latter would go all out of her way to help people, especially persons with disabilities.

PQ would never say "No" to fund-raisers held by disabled people. She would also go all out to raise awareness about the handicapped by inviting them to be the key players in such initiatives.

On top of all that, PQ would also make it a point to invite disabled people, especially the very poor, out for a fancy lunch or dinner treat just to let them have a good time.

Weeks before she passed on, PQ rang me up to say she had a burning confession to make. She told me that out of all her challenges in her life, getting cancer was the toughest she had ever faced.

"Having to be in a wheelchair during one period of my battle was the hardest thing I had to go through," PQ told me.

"I almost gave up in the hospital until I thought about you, Anthony, and how you have been using a wheelchair since the age of 10 to this day.

"And that gave me the strength and confidence to carry on fighting until I was back on my feet again," PQ added.     

PQ and NS were champions to the very end. Their life lessons taught me that you can be in a wheelchair and still be a winner and inspiration to others. – July 27, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.