Troubled kids that were reached with love

This year, I was given my most challenging task as a teacher thus far. I was to be both English AND class teacher to a Form Five class, due to sit for their Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) exams.

I’m usually optimistic and have often fallen back on sheer tenacity and hard work to get things done. However, this additional role was a whole new ball game to me.

Absenteeism was a big issue.

I started out with a class of 34 and am now left with about 15 students who would come to school regularly. Another 5 who would make an occasional appearance. I don’t know where the rest of them are.

On good days, the kids who are in my class will listen to me and try to finish their work. On bad days, they would just walk out of class and go home.

Classes are often used as naptimes to catch up on lost sleep, particularly for some of my kids who have to help support their families after work.

My girls only seemed to be interested in one thing – who they’d like to be married to as soon as they leave secondary school.

To make things worse, my kids are all about picking fights with one another. I’m talking flying chairs and tables; although many of them had the good sense of making sure that I was never in the line of fire.

SPM? What SPM?

For the whole school year, I threw everything I had at the wall to see what would stick. I played good cop: speaking to them as often as I could and trying to learn more about their family and their interests. I also played bad cop: storming in and commanding them to do their work and clean the class.

Some days, I would call in the discipline teacher to help me out.

At times, I sent warning letters to their parents.

Many of my kids come from troubled backgrounds and they are often treated with a lot of anger. I didn’t want to add to it. I told myself that if they take home anything, at least let it be the mere fact that someone was nice to them.

And so, I (sort of) gave up.

Everything they could think of to throw at me, I took. Like the many times they insulted me or disparaged my appearance. Or the many times they hurled racial epithets at me. Or the many off-colour jokes they exchanged about my gender.

I took it all in and never retaliated. I smiled and went on teaching and talking to them.

Then, this Teacher’s Day, they surprised me with a watch. I was shocked; they told me that they had saved up RM3 a week for months to buy it for me. On my birthday, they baked a cake and surprised me with a small party in my house.

In spite of their behaviour suggesting otherwise, I realised that these kids still saw me as their teacher and adviser.

As it finally turned out, time was what I really needed with these kids – a luxury that I am rapidly running out of as their final exams are just around the corner.

In time, they had gone from being wild and near uncontrollable to sitting down and trying to complete an essay in English.

In time, they had gone from disrespecting my personal religious beliefs to wanting to know what a wedding in a church looks like.

Not everything changes though; they still tell me my hairstyle is ugly – but it is their personal opinion and I respect their opinion as such.

People have often told me how I’ve changed their lives; simply by being nice to them and helping them with their studies. Well, the truth is, they have changed my life as well.

They have taught me patience and perseverance and the importance to love, even when it was so difficult to do so. They have challenged me to live up to everything I say and write about education.

Through this experience of dealing with my Form Fives, I have learnt that sometimes, kids just need someone to be nice to them. They need someone to care for them. As the saying goes, ‘Kids who come from good families, come to school to learn and kids who come from challenging families, come to school to be loved”. 

As I write this, we have about 11 days before the SPM examinations and I’m not sure how many of them will go as far as to pass their SPM, but it doesn’t matter.

To my graduating Form Five class, know that I love you very much. If there ever comes a day when you feel like no one cares for you, know that I did once and always will still. And all our memories this year will be forever etched in my heart. Good luck for SPM. Pass or fail, I’m very proud of how far we’ve all come together. – October 22, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.