An Indonesian adventure

SEPT 19 ― Indonesia can be a country of extremes. It hosts a huge Muslim population of varying levels of faith, and is also home to a few terrorists. Its local provinces can be silent at night, but Jakarta teems with life all 24 hours.

Indonesian women ask me why Malay men practise polygamy; before one is awed by such an attitude, one is bemused by the gender dynamics. I have been told that Indonesian men are respectful towards women, and so far, yes, but when they misbehave, oh my.

Then you have the local women divorcing their husbands, and are still supported by their former spouses. They even take everything off their ex-husbands’ backs while the poor men are left in the dust, and yet when faced with sexual discrimination, keep mum, as it is still a man’s world here.

But it could be provincial life that’s to blame, so who knows. Every day I am bewildered. I was just told to meet an ulama who also happens to be a fearsome gangster. I was also told that in Bali there is a mosque founded by a former sex worker. I meet young people who value virginity and the sanctity of marriage, and then I am confronted by sex ads, sex aid ads, oh my God, I thought we had it bad in Malaysia with those banners touting “Ubat Kuat” and “Ubat Bergetah Untuk Perempuan.” And I still can’t figure out which is which when it comes to the rupiah because there are so many zeros.

I haven’t figured it out yet, and coming from someone who has lived and studied abroad, one would think that I’d acclimatise well. After all we share the same language, religions... this is not a complaint, but Indonesia can be overwhelming.

The social dynamics is interesting to observe and hear about. Expatriate Malaysian friends, who, at least to me, are open, warm, exposed to a global culture, find themselves stumped half the time when dealing with Indonesian colleagues and peers.

And there is a marked difference between Indonesians who live in Jakarta and those who live in the provinces. Java is rich in natural resources but is poor. This is where most of our domestic help and labourers come from.

You have places like Yogyakarta and Solo, for example, which are beyond wealthy in culture. Kratons dot the two cities. Traditional performances are community activities, so there’s always something happening in the neighbourhood. Animist beliefs are infused in the Islam that is practised here. These two cities are also clean.

And yet, overpopulation has created a poor society, who in turn does not understand the concept of private space. They are literally in your face.

An example would be the time when I was walking around and saw a warong promoting nasi liwet. I went to see what this rice dish which sounded so salacious was about, and ran out because there was a couple canoodling inside, so to speak. I ran out, flustered, squawking, nasi liwet be damned.

Now, this is not a daily or habitual occurrence in Indonesia, so please do not start looking for couplings in warongs!

It is at night that you see poverty more glaringly. Women selling their wares by the roadside, sleeping off their fatigue. Young men, old men, resting by pillars, using a shack to hold them up, as they sit, trying to stave off sleep.

Some homes have no walls; generations of families live in them. I presume that they do everything in the open. They have no choice. And perhaps that was why the warong romance happened.

And because of poverty, women, young and old, are subject to power abuse. It’s unsettling to hear that young women, who are enamoured by an older man, or intimidated by his power and status, subject themselves to sexual harassment.

A degree is a passport to a better future, and the little I hear is that, many just do what they have to do, and forget a blemished past as soon as they graduate. While there are many women’s groups fighting for the protection of women, sexual harassment is still a black hole. So I have been told.

I realise that I am just a traveller, and that my perceptions of a country that fascinates me may be superficial. The one thing that came to mind about this country is that it’s not about a person falling in love with Indonesia, but whether Indonesia will fall in love with you.

* The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist.