The epic fail of the marital rape enablers

The ironies of life have become so normal to me that I am rarely shocked anymore. Or so I thought.

Last week came a barrage of opinions which I would have considered unthinkable. Marital rape, that vulgar expression of power, was deemed to not exist or if it did exist, should not be legislated against. To me, this was one of the biggest affronts against Islam.

The first of these opinions came in the Malay Mail reporting on Tan Sri Harussani Zakaria's comment about marital rape. How can a state appointed mufti – the highest authority of Islam in Perak – get it a hundred percent wrong like that?

It was just too shocking beyond words that I had to reread the article a few times before coming to terms with the inevitable – that the condition of Islam in Malaysia had reached an all time low. For a mufti to give such a permission was not only unforgivable, it was simply unbelievable. Action needs to be taken and fast before someone actually takes this man seriously.

Harussani is no stranger to controversy.  Almost a decade ago, he expedited a rumour that a hundred thousand Malays were about to apostatise into Christianity. His participation in the proliferation of this rumour was probably what made angry Islamofascists congregate at the said church. Not great for interracial relations at all.

Even the former minister of Culture, Arts and Heritage, Tan Sri Rais Yatim voiced his disapproval of Harussani's attitude.

Then there was Harussani's views on Hari Raya celebrations. According to him, the singing and dancing aspects of said celebrations were haram (his favourite word for anything he dislikes, basically).

Rais Yatim said that Harussani's comments could jeopardise the harmony between races and religions in our country. No kidding.

As if this wasn't enough, Harussani has been at the forefront of the idea to unite Umno and PAS. He characterised the idea of PAS being political allies with DAP as associating oneself with the "kafirs" (infidels in his parlance) while being political allies with Umno to be uniting under the banner of Islam.

This in itself shows the man's short-sightedness, mistaking labels for behaviour.

The first characteristic  of the "kafir" in the Quran (Ch 2 Vs 6-20) is one who causes mischief in the land. One simply cannot confess Islam while causing discord and harming others.

Harussani's latest debacle, however, is perhaps his most damaging one.

In a Malay Mail report dated April 27 of this year, Harussani was quoted to have said "that a Muslim woman has no right to reject her husband's demand (for sex)" going by the hadith (saying of the Prophet) which approximately says that "if a husband asks for sex even when they're riding on a camel, the woman must oblige him".

This was an incredibly callous and sexist remark on Harrusani's part. Although he did include a proviso – that Muslim women who were menstruating and had recently given birth are exempt from this demand – he simply did not account for the most important thing: willingness.

What if a woman was not up to the act? Is she meant to just shelve her feelings and proceed simply because her husband demands it? How can the act of consummation of love become such a robotic thing?

Does Harussani not realise that he has placed in the hands of Muslim men an unjust weapon which can be used to traumatise their wives through the mechanism of guilt?

Worse still, we have the Isma Islamofascists following suit and claiming that the very idea of marital rape is an affront against "Allah's laws"!

Even the chief of Isma's women division, Norsaleha Mohd Salleh, who is also the head of the Usuluddin studies department at Kolej Universiti Islam Antarabangsa Selangor (KUIS) was reported in the Malay Mail to have said wives cannot cry rape when their husbands force themselves on them, so long as the act is within the "limits of the Islamic code". What is this "Islamic code", I wonder?

Norsaleha goes on to say "that a good Muslim will not hurt his wife, and would definitely not force his wife to have intercourse when she is menstruating, fasting, dressed in ihram (worship garment), exhausted, or in pain".

Does Norsaleha realise that there are also "bad Muslims" who simply do not care that their wives are "exhausted" or "in pain"?

How about the wives' right to say no because she's too busy, distracted or simply does not feel like it? As a woman herself, Norsaleha is doubly culpable than the aforementioned Harussani Zakaria.

I find it very incredulous to read these opinions above. My reading of the Quran tells me that our spouses are meant to be "from our very own souls" (Ch 30 Vs 21) and that this relationship must be one imbued with tranquillity, mercy and love (as this verse continues).

Is this the description of a marriage where the husband has a right to force himself on his wife without any legal consequences, as Norsaleha advocates?  Absolutely not.

The husband must show the greatest understanding in these matters.

Too bad Harussani and Norsaleha prefer to see women as sex objects who simply must submit to perform their duty.

Candidly speaking, these opinions enabling or at least legalising marital rape (through the mechanism of utter denial) are evil. There is no less intense a description for them.

The people who buy into their opinions will be committing crimes against their own spouses  and exerting irreparable damage on them and consequently, on society itself. These marital rape enablers must be simply ignored and if possible, removed from office completely. – May 5, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.