Why is adopting a kid taboo?

Malaysians experience a feel-good factor in owning items which can prop one up the social ladder; from buying a car to owning a house.

Renting just doesn’t cut it.

When one rents a house, the stereotypical explanation would be because they cannot afford a roof over their heads, when it might not be the case.

There is a higher degree of weight placed on permanent direct ownership – buying – as compared to temporary indirect ownership – renting.

The same seemingly also applies to having a kid.

Adopting a child is seen to be an “unpopular” choice, as opposed to having the sense of ‘ownership’ in producing one’s own kid.

Many feel the urge to have little fledglings because it could mean one ticking off another boxes from life’s “to-do list”.

Just last week, a friend who was in her second trimester kept posing the question over lunch; “When’s your turn, dude? Do you have something against kids?”

Deciding to have a kid is momentous task in itself, and while some find the idea of having a child fun, many are scarcely prepared for the lung-busting, rollercoaster of a ride which lay ahead.

To begin with, one has got to be prepared to fork out a huge amount in finances to be able to legitimately say, “I’m prepared to raise a toddler, responsibly.”

After the diapers, baby formula and clothes every six months are ironed out, one has got to prep the little one for school.

And the fact that Malaysia’s education system fails to inspire parents to send their children to government schools, private and international educational institutions have now become the more popular choice, if one can cough up the required amount.

Add to that the day care costs involved especially for working parents, and one is faced with an almost insurmountable figure to keep pace with.

Raising a kid is extremely expensive.

Some estimates suggest that it could be anywhere between RM450,000 to RM1,1 million to raise a single child from birth through higher education in Malaysia, depending on the perceptive quality of education one opts for.

And the middle and working classes are having a tough time trying to stay afloat.

In spite of this, not much focus is given to this in the government’s annual budget.

After all, thriving households unburdened by debt results in a boost in the local economy, and can drive demand.

At most, the recently tabled national budget provides for tax exemptions up to RM2.74 a day for each child one has, which is a drop in the sea at best.

Depleting finances can put a severe strain on closely knit families, because people simply aren’t equipped with the necessary tools to deal with crises at the micro level.

Yet, the choice of having kids is made time and again, despite the fact that it rarely makes economic and social sense.

Instead of doing that, a better option – in my view – would be to provide a better life for a young one who is without parents, providing the nurturing girl or boy might not have gotten due to unforeseeable circumstances.

While the carbon copy pattern of costs will raise, surely it would be more fitting to improve the quality of life on an underprivileged child, rather than having one’s own and run the risk of not being able to live up to the billing, considering the externalities involved.

Adopting a child might not provide one with the sense of ownership many Malaysians crave for, but one should not feel any lesser opening your doors to a new member of the family. – November 4, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.