The kind-hearted road bully

A recent road rage incident has brought about more debate than usual, mainly thanks to some people stepping forward to vouch for the character of the alleged road bully and how he should not be judged over one incident.

It was initially just a case of an awful road bully, a man, and his victim, a woman, as the photographs started to spread on Facebook.

The victim shared her story on Facebook with the photos, complaining that this driver was changing lanes in front of her and that she had expressed her displeasure by honking at him. That then triggered a series of events that was to change his life, irreparably it would seem.

The man, in his late 50s, was photographed by the woman stopping his car in front of hers, then walking towards her car, shouting at her, spitting at her car windscreen and finally damaging her car’s windscreen wiper blade.

The response she received from her friends and also others on Facebook was that she should make a police report. And that she did.

The man was arrested the next day and people were happy that he got his comeuppance.

By the following day, the story got enough traction to warrant newspapers and portals carrying this tale of a “bad” Malaysian driver who took his anger too far. And his photo was plastered on print and online too.

Then suddenly, a few of my friends (and their friends) on Facebook stood up for the alleged road bully and said he was a kind-hearted, generous and caring soul. And not just to his friends, but to strangers and animals too.

They argued that the incident was just a “moment of madness” that should not cast a shadow over all the good that he had done before.

What surprised me more was that it eventually took on a new twist with the victim, in her 40s, said to have “initiated the incident”.

Even women, who obviously knew him well and had experienced his generosity first-hand, took his side and cast some doubt as to the innocence of the “victim”.

All this, while with the best of intention and because they know the alleged road bully personally, made me wonder if only society in general would look at every incident this way, that is, having some consideration for an alleged perpetrator of similar criminal actions. But I suppose that is too much to ask.

I must add here that I respect my friends who are only defending someone whom they feel deserves the benefit of the doubt.

However, there is no justification whatsoever for his actions no matter how one may want to claim that he was in any way provoked to react.

The reputation of Malaysian drivers is, unfortunately, too well-known even beyond our shores.

So saying that this woman had “initiated” anything to deserve the reaction from the man was quite preposterous.

If more drivers reacted justifiably to every person who provoked or "initiated" a road rage incident, we would be reading more of these stories on a daily basis.

We all have harboured some rather vile or evil thoughts towards other drivers, let alone motorcyclists, who have been a major source of irritation on the roads.

I admit, sometimes even I wish I could fire a paintball gun that would leave a permanent mark on a car driven by a reckless driver, or break their left and right indicator lights as they would obviously not miss it, not knowing how to use it as they should.

But I have not acted on such thoughts, and neither have 99.9% of the driving population.

Why? Because we know we would not get away with it. Yes, it is not for any noble reason. I only refrain myself so as to avoid doing the time for the crime.

So, getting back to this alleged road bully.

I know he is not a devil as he has been made out to be. Something snapped, and it brought out an ugly side of him. Some would say he was having a bad day or facing some pressures in life.

Well, my argument is that the victim too may have other things or pressures on her mind, or simply wanted to get somewhere fast, and was as irritated by his allegedly bad driving.

She might be as nice and kind a person as he is, and who also reacted to the driver in front of her, moving  between lanes haphazardly as she claims.

We will never know the truth, as it is simply a case of “he said, she said” at this point.

There is no guilty or angry person here. I don't judge him or her for who they are. I can empathise with the both of them, for what I myself have experienced on the roads in Kuala Lumpur.

Everyone just needs to take a step back, and condemn the actions, nothing more. As the saying goes, condemn the sin not the sinner.

For those who are defending the man, I am pretty sure you would feel the same as the victim if someone did the same to you or your mother/wife/sister/girlfriend, as that which happened to the woman.

She did not know he was that kind and gentle person his friends know him for.

Ask yourselves, if something similar happened to you, how would you react?

What if so your alleged bully’s friends then come forward to praise the kind and gentle soul he truly is. Would you just accept it and forgive him or would you not continue to have this visual in your mind of this person coming at you, shouting, spitting, and breaking the car’s windscreen wiper.

Having said that, there is an ugly side to the reaction that has come out against this alleged road bully as that which happened after the Kiki “steering lock” incident of a few months ago.

The social media attacks on him are just brutal. No one deserves to have their family and career or business affected, receiving abuse the way this man has.

The same was done when the Kiki incident happened and it was appalling then, as it is now.

So many people are sick-minded enough to carry out these attacks on social media, not to mention exposing personal details of the man and his family. The best we can do is not to forward such hateful messages, and also advise friends who do.

Unfortunately, so many people don't do that second part because they are afraid they will then be told off by their "friends".

So this misguided vigilante culture on social media does not end, because the reckless selfish minded ones continue to rule, and with not enough people with the common sense and rational thought to help stop them.

I really hope that this case does not get any worse for both parties.

Now that the law has caught up with him, let the courts take the appropriate action. If he did the crime, he needs to serve the time, fine or both. And, if he has a good defence, then so be it. – November 22, 2014.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.