Are Malaysian women really safe?

Let me just admit to an open secret: it is a fearful thing being a woman in Malaysia.

I woke up on Saturday morning to news of a robbery. One of my friends was robbed of her mobile and purse while walking to meet another mutual friend for dinner, at a reasonably early hour of 8.45pm in the affluent neighbourhood of Bangsar. That the incident happened merely a few metres from where she lived just accentuated the reality of the situation – that no matter where we live or are walking at on the streets of Kuala Lumpur, there is this possibility of us being mugged and robbed.

The incident happened so quickly, that passers-by could only advise her to make a police report. She went to the police beat, but somehow concluded defeat after trying to explain what had happened. Apparently such incidents happened frequently that all the police could do was ask her whether the robbers wore t-shirts. She felt defeated and hopeless. And, as friends, all we could do was just give her moral support and ensure that she was all right.

Although she was not grievously hurt after being knocked to the ground by the robbers on a motorcycle, she was shaken. I mean, we locals had always assumed that the neighbourhood of Bangsar was a recommended address, and our group of girlfriends always had our meetings there and felt relatively safe when we are out in the neighbourhood. But this incident has shaken all of us. We had a chat about it and could not help but come to the agreement that there was a gendered issue at hand, despite us all being educated, resilient, empowered women and did not want to let ourselves be victimised.

Would the robbers dare push down a man over a woman? Are women so helpless when walking alone down the streets of KL?

The reality is this: women are the victims. My ex-boyfriend, despite supporting feminism himself, always insisted on walking together with me to my car, and when us girls get together, we would walk in groups and at the end of the outing, there was this plan on sending each of us to our cars or sending us safely to our doorsteps.

Running groups would always have a “sweeper” who will ensure that the last runner, most times yours truly – a woman – arrives safely at the finish.

Going out the door every day involve meticulous planning, not only on our appearances but also safety. There’s a drill before locking the front door: pepper spray handy? Check. Are we wearing heels or shoes that allows us to run away when an unsafe situation happen? Check. Are we holding an umbrella to not only shelter us from the possible rain but also as a potential self-defence weapon should we be attacked? Check. Walk briskly, do not look at our phones and be aware of our surroundings, holding our handbags tightly over our shoulders, with the placement of the handbags on the shoulder not facing the street? Check. Check. Check. Check.

That, ladies and gentlemen, for the lucky ones among us women, is only the walk from our front doors to our cars. Once safely inside our cars, we need to conveniently hide the handbag away from view just in the case our windows are smashed when we stop at traffic lights. For the rest of us who have to rely on public transportation – there is the need to ensure that we get on the buses, LRTs, trains, taxis safely and once inside such transportations; try not to worry about being molested or worse, abducted, raped and killed.

So much worry for any individual to handle, don't you think?

We hear of reports on women being robbed, mugged, raped, killed every few months or so. Sometimes, the headlines will blare on a particularly sadistic case: the barely 15-year-old girl who was raped by 38 men in Kelantan; the cases of Noor Suzaily Mukhtar, Nurul Huda Ghani, Nurin Jazlin Jazimin, Choo Gaik Yap, Canny Ong; and many, many others.

Reports on these cases will be followed by a list of precautions that we women need to take, the sprouting of self-defence classes around the neighbourhood, the incessant messages or calls by anxious parents and spouses when we women travel daily. Not to mention the calls for women to be covered up, hidden, to stay at home by misogynistic men. We would be mad and angry, then after a while forget about the cases. Repeat.

When we women voice out the daily fears for our safety, it does sometimes feel like things fall to deaf ears. When we are threatened by rape or murder, who can we turn to? Who will protect us?

Are we really safe in the streets of Kuala Lumpur? I think not. – April 1, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.