Taking some time to reflect

It does seem like our country as a whole has taken a severe beating the past few weeks. From issues of boat people and the mass graves uncovered at our border with Thailand, to the ongoing confusion surrounding state investment firm 1Malaysia Development Berhad, the expected lay off of Malaysia Airlines workers, the tabling of the private member’s bill on hudud law in Kelantan, and the usual wisecracks statements by our esteemed politicians and those in positions of power – the feeling is akin to having Dementors breeding on our shores, surrounding us all with despair.

Thus, perhaps it is best to take some time to reflect.

In our rush towards accelerated development and being a developed country, I think we have forgotten to nourish our souls. I am not talking about religion here, God knows we have too much of that pushed down our throats nowadays – but of simple humanistic values. Being kinder to one another instead of being kiasu, treating everyone as competition or as against us.

We seem to be keen on building highways, tallest-in-the-world office towers on prime land, and speed trains – but we put our heads in the sand on the safety and fair wages of the migrant workers who build these material entities for us.

We want our country to achieve first-world status, yet we ourselves have third world mentality. Just look at the cars parked along yellow lines on our streets, never mind that they’re blocking the way of traffic, or the state of our public toilets. We would complain about everything under the sun, but when it comes to actually changing our ways and doing something about it – we all seem to shy away.

We don’t seem to know our neighbours anymore. Gone are the days when we would share kuih and return the plate filled with sugar as a symbolic “thank you” gesture.

Everyone walk around with their heads down, looking at their phones. We are busy connecting and commenting and even flirting on social media, but not in real life. We do not even engage or communicate; instead we “like” or retweet. It is so hard to even sit down in a hipster café with friends and have a conversation without having to bet that the first one to look at his or her phones would have to foot the bill. Worse, sometimes all we do is take countless numbers of “wefies” and not even talk to each other.

We document everything, yet we live with nothing. Sometimes, I think the memories I make are more online than in real life!

We are not allowed to “share” about our feelings or have discourse about sensitive issues in a moderated safe space. Hell, as of last week, we can’t even ask questions when we seek to understand and learn. We live in constant fear of what others think of us, we worry about how many “likes” our post will get and we worry about friends “unfriending” us. Worse, we worry whether our opinions are too sensitive and might land us a night in lock-up or charged and vilified by our religious authorities.

I am guilty of all the above, and I think it is time for me and many of us to instead propagate compassion and kindness to somehow help heal this country of ours.

It all starts with having meaningful conversations.

Talk to our friends. Give them a hug. Make new friends. Volunteer for causes we believe in.

Pause before we share our opinions – would it help to improve a situation or only fuel hatred and divisiveness?

If it’s the latter then it’s better to just let go and move along.

Perhaps I am being too simplistic; but I personally think we cannot discuss grand ideas when we simply do not communicate with each other. Using a brash tone to state our opinions and talking condescendingly do not help with engagement and meaningful participation of every citizen of Malaysia. We must not only shout and protest and let those who shout the loudest win, but learn to listen. We must also learn to read beyond reading headlines. We must be responsible and take accountability for our actions.

However, we must also no longer be silent. The fact that we self-censor for fear of rebuke and retribution needs to be negated. We must stand up for something. We must no longer continue with our “tidak apa” and “Malaysia is like that lah” attitudes.

We must no longer expect everyone else to change, but rather change ourselves first.

If we really want a developed country, we must develop our intellects alongside our morality towards achieving this dream. We are five years shy of 2020. Let it not be only tall buildings and expansive highways as our marks of achievement.

I am managing my own expectations with our community and unlearning instant gratification. But I also believe that without the small things that matter, we will never achieve the big things: reducing corruption, increasing productivity, and achieving unity.

Let us not just have abstract ideas of grand achievements, but rather work towards it for a better Malaysia. – June 3, 2015. 

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.