To Raya or not to Raya?

You know that Hari Raya is around the corner when wherever you are; be it in malls or stuck in traffic, you cannot escape the legendary Tan Sri P Ramlee’s iconic song, “Dendang Perantau”.

Or, if the deejay’s feeling more festive and less melancholic, it would be Anuar Zain and Ellina’s “Suasana Hari Raya”.

Personally, the latter is a favourite and one song I happily tolerate during the festive season; and not solely for my childhood crush on Anuar Zain.

It captures the spirit of Hari Raya – from the practice of forgiving one another and having a clean slate in our relationships with relatives and friends, paying a visit to one another’s houses, to the feasts we all enjoy on the day and not to forget, “duit raya” (money packets).

As an adult, I now know that all Hari Raya glitter is not gold. Like all festivities, the celebration and fun centre around children; and as adults, we are left with the stress and responsibilities of ensuring that the young ones will have a great time.

In such tough economic times and the need to give money packets to both the young and elderly ones today, I can’t shake off the high expectations of me and how much I give.

Perhaps I have succumbed to the materialistic expectations of society, but it does feel that one needs to ensure that one budget well financially for such festivities.

I am not a proponent for spending beyond one’s means, but I also think that we all need to celebrate the feeling of togetherness and love with our families.

Unfortunately, spending some money for new clothes and giving out money packets are part of the celebrations.

I do like to think of this as a pay-it-forward system of sorts, but what is the meaning of Hari Raya to most today?

I was a city-kid and brought up by my late grandparents. Due to this, I have never had the balik kampung experience as depicted in local Raya commercials.

Yet, the festive season is still a gathering of sorts, with relatives visiting each other and having a get-together to catch up on each others’ lives.

With the advent of the internet and now Whatsapp chat groups, today such gatherings are seen to be merely symbolic as updates on family members are shared almost instantly through family Whatsapp chat groups.

We are all glued to our smartphones, anyway, that any gathering is seen as an excuse to use the selfie-stick to get a wide-angle photo that would then be uploaded on social media.

I think we've all experienced the awkward silence that followed every conversation with distant relatives and even our own close extended family members once the usual questions have been asked during such gatherings.

More often than not, we will all end up playing with our smartphones instead to while away the time.

Personally, I do feel that this is a sad evolution of our society. We have become more used to talking on social media rather than with each other.

However, as a woman who has had enough of the “Bila nak kahwin?” question by well-meaning but perhaps insensitive relatives, I am also secretly thankful that a big family gathering is only compulsory once a year!

While there are many who use the excuse of Hari Raya to increase consumerism, I do agree that in tough economic times we need to be more prudent in our personal spending.

I think we all need to find a balance between spending for the celebration, and yet still be within our own budgets.

There should not be any harm in being honest about not being able to afford certain things that is now perceived as luxury. Nor should one feel guilt-tripped when one made certain financial choices.

It warms my heart though, seeing that donations to orphanages and street friends including the urban poor and the homeless have not reduced.

If we can view consumerism during such festive seasons in a good way, it would be that most Malaysians now have empathy and are thinking of the less fortunate, and doing something about it.

While spending prudently to celebrate the occasion, these Malaysians are also taking action to ensure that less Malaysians get left behind in this season of festivities.

What makes me believe in Malaysians more is the coming together of people from all ethnic backgrounds in such efforts.

It is with this spirit that I look forward to spending the eve of Hari Raya with the Feeding the Needy soup kitchen at CIMB Chow Kit this year.

A programme to include our street friends in the festivities will begin from a break fast session, followed by “maghrib” prayers, food distribution, and then “takbir raya”.

More than that, I look forward to being rejuvenated in the spirit of Hari Raya with friends from all backgrounds in Malaysia.

Thus, let’s put all our differences aside for at least one day, and revel in the spirit of forgiveness and togetherness.

We can all bicker about our political and ideological differences for the rest of the 364 days of the year.

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin. – July 15, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.