Let’s take break from the heavy discussions of the Halal Industry, Islamic finance and banking, and politics in the Muslim world, and talk about every dad’s weakness and pride and joy: his daughter!
"The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, 'Daddy, I need to ask you something,' he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan." – Garrison Keillor
The greatest gift a daughter wants from her dad is really not his credit card, though it’s a close second. It’s his health and that he will be there to “give her away to the man of her dreams” at her wedding.
For many dads, cash is much easier gift to depart with than regaining health. A sedentary lifestyle, including mall walk exercises, rich foods, the stress of work and extended family worries, etc., combined with a family history of high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc., produces a “live ticking time” bomb!
But, a daughter has unimaginable superhero powers over her dad!
You can divorce your spouse, but never your girl.
You can have a horrible day at work, but when you see your little girl waiting at door with her water beaker and half-eaten apple (the other half is saved for you), it makes your day.
You get knocked down playing basketball (by your six feet son), and your little girl comes with a band aid, you laugh off the pain.
Its two days before her birthday, February 28, and she is playing Sherlock Holmes on what present you got her.
It’s a week before your birthday, and your little girl is closely watching you shave, smelling the cologne (when you’re not there) or eyeing (up and down) your causal and formal clothing. Daddy’s in-house fashion consultant saying “he definitely (or is it desperately) needs this!”
Thus, girls are the pilot light of warmth and the rainbow personality of colors that transforms a house into a home and family into harmony. Furthermore, you as a dad, change yourself more for them, than your mother or wife. That’s going to get me into hot water!
Bad news good for you
My best friend, also my cardiologist, called me for a heart test. Not the good cholesterol and bad cholesterol kind, but a more extensive test. I was “exercising” and “mostly” eating right, so I looked forward to taking the test. The decades of eating included late dinners, western fast food, eastern heavy food and all washed down with diet soda (to ease the guilt).
To me, I had taken stress tests, treadmill tests, and blood tests, and have not increased my life insurance (no Family Takaful in US for Islamic finance die-hards). I prepared myself for the test, thinking that “greasy food purification” combined with few laps around the high school track would result in a business as usual result.
The test was unusual, for me, as it entailed lying down and going through a claustrophobic MRI-type cylinder machine tunnel. After finishing, I was given the test results, which I did not understand, but I got a high score! The technician with a poker face, said your doctor will explain the results. Ok, high score and he did not have a look of horror on his face, must be a “not bad” thing!
I was waiting in the car in front of the hospital as per his instructions to review the results. He came into the passenger seat, sat down, and looked at the results and, within an instant, had the look of “I just saw a ghost, and it was not Casper!”
He then said with a straight face and in a stern but cracking voice, ‘Do you want to be around for Sana’s (my daughter) wedding (who was nine at the time)?”
If a human can feel the initial shock and lasting awe of a scorching “cattle prong”, it is those words, linking your daughter’s wedding without you, that is a life-defining, refining, and confining moment!
When the motivation is to take care of yourself, by eating right (typically fads) and by exercising (using the latest equipment), its typically not sustainable as the discipline is exhausting and you feel as if you’re missing out on something in this short life.
When the motivation is your (only) daughter, then the approach is diametrically a 180 degree opposite. You take it for granted you will be there for her college, her marriage, your grandkids, and get to do with them what you could not do with your kids.
Why? Like most dads, you reasonably assume time and health are on your side, and use your father and mother as proxies for your longevity. You think to yourself, you’re in better looking health than your father was when he was your age, you “exercised” more than he did, you “ate” better than he did, and you “enjoy” life more than he did.
Transforming words
Those totaling words changed my attitude, my diet, my exercising, my discipline. It changed me!
My diet was radically changed. South Asian cuisine, while tasty and filling, is an excellent recipe for clogging arties. I suspect Malaysian food is a close second. No more!
The breakfast was about oatmeal, tea/coffee with skim milk and a hint of brown sugar, and egg whites (to reward myself) cooked in extra virgin olive oil. The lunches and dinners included baked fish and chicken, vegetables (avocados), brown rice and quinoa. I also minimised sweets, no more diet soda (which is actually misleading), etc.
At the time of this awakening, I was working for a US multinational corporation, requiring much travel to GCC and SE Asia, and to be disciplined on the road was both easy and difficulty. In places like Dubai, a variety of food was expensive and available, but in Malaysia, healthy food, if available, was/is expensive. To this day, every-time I’m in Malaysia for 1-3 weeks, I gain weight, notwithstanding the sweat inducing climate. But I am also a regular at the health club, and have been monitoring my food intake (no more Penang Rojak)!
The exercising entailed cardio, which meant keeping the heartbeat to about 120 beats/minute for about 30 minutes. So, gym visits were about 30 minutes from machine to machine with no rest. A by-product is better time management!
The approach to diet and exercising was the most difficult, because “food that is good for you (generally) doesn’t taste good,” and motivation to keep the regimen required disciple.
Fast forward to nine months, and I have lost 40 pounds, and passed all the tests, but on medication the rest of my life. But, at least, now have a life-preserver and insha’allah will be there for Sana’s wedding.
Conclusion
The easy part, in hindsight, is losing the weight and passing the tests. The hard part is maintaining the discipline. But, when the motivation is someone who you love more than yourself, you embrace the challenge for that smile and hug!
To those health-challenged Malaysian dads, especially with unwed daughters, challenge yourself to make it to their wedding day healthy. Ameen!
"Anything I've done up till May 27th 1999 was kind of an illusion, existing without living. My daughter, the birth of my daughter, gave me life." – Johnny Depp. – February 28, 2014.
* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.
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