Misogyny, sexism are real

“Well, diamonds are a woman’s best friend while women are a man’s best friends. So where is the misogyny and sexism here? I think you people tend to be too preoccupied with such issues and blow it out of proportion.”

That was the comment left on my article discussing misogyny in Malaysia by a certain Jayendran the Cat, a somewhat prolific commenter on The Malaysian Insider comments’ section.

Many times I wonder if this person is trolling me for the comments seem to be a little bit out there, sometimes the comments make me laugh and then there are times, it just leaves me angry and frustrated.

Like the one above. But that person is not alone, are they?

Too often, accusations are thrown that “we people” (read: feminists? women?) “tend to be too preoccupied with such issues (read: misogyny and sexism) and blow it out of proportion”. And that in of itself is misogynistic.

What is misogyny? How is it different from sexism? Tau tak bezanya?

I write about misogyny and sexism a lot in this space, so perhaps it is time to revisit these terms and what they mean.

The Oxford Dictionary defines misogyny as “dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women” and sexism as “prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex”.

So let’s see. Misogyny is an entrenched belief that women are not equal to men, which stems from dislike or hatred of women.

Sexism, on the other hand, looks at instances where people are discriminated against because of their perceived sex or gender.

One can be sexist or subscribe to sexism without being misogynistic but misogynistic people hold on to sexist views.

A misogynist looks at a woman and tells her she deserves to be raped because she is dressed a certain way. A sexist looks at a woman dressed a certain way and calls her a slut.

A misogynist believes girls should only be educated enough to read recipe books and earn lower than her husband while a sexist believes girls can be highly educated as long as they still be “sexy”.

There is a difference.

When anyone claims that people, especially women, are too preoccupied with women’s rights, gender equality and privacy and that they are blowing it out of proportion, it is as misogynistic patriarchal BS gets.

The world tends to forget that “women’s rights = human rights”. Women are people, not a human subspecies, inferior and therefore not worthy of full human rights.

And those who think sexism is a figment of feminists’ collective butt hurt, then I’d like to direct you to PostSeksisme’s #TauTak campaign currently taking place on Twitterverse.

This one-week online social media campaign spearheaded by the Malaysian Young Women Making Change collective has gained much traffic, with women from all over the country tweeting their personal brushes with sexual harassment.

Sexism is something women have to put up with in our daily lives. The way we dress, talk, behave, and live is policed by everyone from our parents and spouses, employers and friends, society and institutions of religion and governance.

Malaysians live in a country that has for a prime minister a man who publically “dismissed the need for women’s rights groups” at an International Women’s Day celebration.

Just this week, his wife claimed that child marriages are rare in the country when in reality girls 16 and younger can get married legally.

So when people claim that women blow issues concerning our rights, safety and privacy out of proportion, perhaps they need to take a reality check. I’ve met women who make such claims, and that just proves how tight a grip patriarchy has on our way of thinking.

Sexism and misogyny are not inherent beliefs, but something that is ingrained in us because we operate and live within a patriarchal system.

Patriarchy, we should always remember, does not only oppress women but also men and anyone who does not fit a certain societal standard.

Like PostSeksisme tweeted: “We aren’t born with a sexist lens, we are taught & it develops slowly through reinforcement”.

We, as individuals, have the power to change and stop following the beat of misogyny and sexism because they are nothing but notions fed to us.

Women are not inferior to men, are not public properties and are not for the consumption of men. Women do not exists to make your day more exciting, nor do they exist so that you can “cuci mata”. They are not there to clean up your mess and propagate your genes.

This is the reality of women, and sadly, so are misogyny and sexism because we have people who think women are inferior to men and exist solely serve others. – October 4, 2015.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.