Top 7 things to anticipate this Ramadan

The holy month of Ramadan is approaching and in two days, Muslims and non-Muslims alike in Malaysia will be ushering in the first day of fasting.

We all know that for Muslims, this is a special month. All prayers and good deeds count for more and people take advantage of the heightened spirituality to get closer to God.

That's all fine and good. I enjoy the month, too, and it's usually a serene time for me. But I thought I would take a bit of a dig in ushering in the month.

So here is a list of top seven things that I think we should be able to look forward to come this Ramadan 2014:

7. Bulging buckles and expanding waistlines

This one isn't much of a surprise. Every time people fast during the month, gluttony sets in when evening comes as the hunger in their stomach dictates the amount of food they buy and consume at dusk during breaking fast.

And to think that so many people look forward to a month of dieting and losing weight!

6. The loss of Malay identity

Malaysians used to be comfortable in their own skin a decade or two ago. But now, it seems that to be more Arabic is the way to be more Islamic. Breaking of fast was usually always referred to as “berbuka puasa”.

But these days, the Arab word “iftar” is brandied around as cool lingo. Same as how “sembahyang” is now more commonly referred to as “solat” and “tudung” replaced with “hijab”.

5. Stinky breath

About 60% of the country's population is going to suffer from bad breath since they won't be using their mouths much aside from talking.

Of course, this is with the assumption that all 60% of the Malays are practising Muslims and are fasting during the month. And this would be a really cool transition into the next point...

4. Hideouts

Empty stairwells, back alleys, janitor rooms and toilets will start becoming popular gathering places, but only for those who are part of the “in” crowd.

If you happen to stumble into one of these secret hideouts, you might just catch a whiff of instant noodles, nasi kandar or even cigarette smoke... if you know what I mean.

3. Daytime zombies

That goes without saying. After eating a huge meal at dusk, snacking throughout the night, then waking up before dawn to eat another meal, many would be really deprived from sleep.

It really doesn't help that it is also World Cup season where all the matches are played after midnight Malaysian time. People will be barely awake in the daytime.

2. Constant doubt if one's fast is still valid

As people start getting into the fasting routine, there will be many who will start worrying if they have accidentally stuck a finger in their noses or ears, thus rendering their fast void.

But then again, many believe that if it's by accident, then it's all right. Heck, I know people who have even accidentally sipped water or eaten while fasting.

1. Maximum sensitivity level

This is the time of the year when Muslims become extra sensitive. No non-Muslim is allowed to eat in front of Muslims.

In fact, even the mere sight of food in the daytime is a no-no. All this is because, apparently, it's so offensive that it can drive them to rage.

Oh wait a minute! Anything and everything is offensive to Muslims all year round and can drive them to rage.

So there you go, my list of things to anticipate this Ramadan. But you know what? Religion and spirituality is between an individual and God. Who are we to judge, right?

Happy Ramadan everyone! – June 27, 2014.

* This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of The Malaysian Insider.